I've Got a Golden Ticket

I got it! I won the Lilly Teacher Endowment grant. My wife has been checking the mail down the block everyday for the last two weeks. She returned today with a huge smile on her face as she handed me the large envelope.  "They wouldn't put a rejection letter in such a big envelope, would they?," she said.

We sent the kids to the basement so we could have a little quiet, and focus on this moment...I slowly opened the envelope like Charlie does with his Wonka Bar...and BOOM! There was my golden ticket inside.  "Congratulations" was the only word I saw as I looked at her and said, "I got it." She jumped up and down cheering. I just sat there staring at here with this smile on my face.

She was acting like I do when the Colts make a big play. For years, she endured watching sports with me mainly to see me react with crazy outbursts. Needless to say, there have been moments in our years together that I've lost my composure and went nuts (she has video of me doing this somewhere) while watching sports...like IU's victory over #1 Duke  in their run to the Final Four in the 2002 NCAA tourney ...

...or while watching Christian Watford's amazing shot to beat #1 Kentucky in 2012 with my dad in my basement (one of the greatest moments of my life...sports-wise, of course).  Funny story, my daughter had been watching most of the game with us, but then my wife came home, so my kid went upstairs oblivious to the historic magic that was about to befall Hoosier Nation...and missed one of the greatest moments in college basketball history that will forever be etched in my memory. I am completely biased of course.

...or even this past NFL postseason, the Colts were down HUGE to Kansas City in the playoffs and they (improbably) made a miraculous 28-point comeback. One of the defining moments was when Andrew Luck picked up a fumble near the endzone (5:54), and instead of falling on it like 99.9% of the other QBs would have done, he picked it up and DOVE into the endzone. Headfirst! He dove! It is a play I'll forever remember.

My family was watching that game with me...well, I was watching, and they were reading, or playing with LEGOS. When I jumped off the couch and got into my pre-screaming and dancing stance, I heard my wife say to my kids, "Here it comes."  And then I started going nuts, and I heard them all giggling. So, I now know after watching my wife do her little screaming dance of her own what they see in me several times a year through sports.  

I've been planning to go out to Hollywood to dip my toes in the acting world for over sixteen months. While finishing the performance run of the play A Few Good Men at the Fort Wayne Civic Theatre, my wife approached me with the idea of me going out to Hollywood and dipping my toes in the acting waters. I've received positive/encouraging reactions to my recent acting endeavors, which are always humbling.  Yes, it was her idea. And, yes, my wife is awesome!

A Few Good Men by Aaron Sorkin (FW Civic Theatre, Fall '12)

So, for the last sixteen months, I've been saving my pennies. I made it my mission to fund my own way out there. I didn't want to spend a penny of the family budget on my personal excursion. That was very important to me. Not knowing what to expect, and not wanting it to be a complete waste of money, I determined that if it was going to be a waste of someone's money...then it would be my money, and not take a hit against the family budget. I didn't want to put us in debt for going out to California and experimenting/playing/discovering.  So, I have been accruing a nice sized bankroll through my poker winnings, and I've been donating plasma too.  I don't know why they call it donating when you get paid, but whatever, it's all in the phrasing I suppose.  The process hasn't changed too much since I "donated" in college, but it's a much more professional and business-like experience than what I remember from my Bloomington days.

Before the grant, I was prepared to live a pauper life while out there, which I do have some experience doing. A few years back, my sister and I traveled up the east coast of Australia for a few weeks in the summer, and we lived in little more than a converted VW-sized camper van. We did that on a measly budget, and I expected to do that again this summer with, or without, the grant, and without the camper van. It was going to be a frugal few weeks out there before the grant, and then the letter arrived and a huge weight was lifted from my mind.

Being awarded this grant has afforded me a little extra luxury that I wasn't going to have. It will allow me to: afford an acting/improvisational workshop with The Groundlings, where some of the greatest comedian's have received training; tour several different movie and entertainment venues like Universal Studios and Disney; attend the world's largest comic book convention, Comic Con in San Diego; and finally, it will allow me to tour the world's largest collection of Star Wars memorabilia in the world, Rancho Obi Wan . All things that I wouldn't/couldn't have afforded in the first place. The $10,000 will be a nice, refreshing addition to improving my California experience this summer.

This experience is going to a very rewarding (and renewing) experience. This blog will chronicle my life over the next several weeks, and it will document the behind-the-scenes lifestyle of a beginning actor as he (i.e. me) overcomes the cultural and social hurdles that thousands of people do every year by relocating to SoCal.

Fingers Crossed

Well, I did it. I mailed in my Lilly Endowment grant application.  I wasn't going to do one originally, but then I thought, what the heck. In fact, my mother (an educator) yearly tells me, "Did you submit a grant? Deadline's coming."

There's nothing like waiting until the last minute. I sent it out today (Halloween), and it's due/post marked by Nov. 1. The procrastinator in me resurfaced towards the end, and I had all the best of intentions in the world to get it submitted earlier, but things happen and I got distracted. Those that know me know that I can get distracted easily. I have joked for years that I have self-diagnosed ADD, and recently, my son received his first semester report card (kindergarten), and his only "average" mark was for handwriting. I told him that my weakest score/grade in elementary school was for handwriting as well, which I take after my mother...horrendous handwriting. I just want to get it done quickly, I don't' care what it looks like because I can read it, and anything that is important, I type it...plus I type much quicker than I write, so I type almost everything.  I don't know if it's as bad as the stereotypically poor doctor's writing, but it's sloppy. I can read hers, and I bet she can read mine, but otherwise, not many people would/could read it. Anyway, my mother was there for this conversation and said, "Bobby, it's your undiagnosed ADD coming out in your quick handwriting. Like me." I chuckled inside because what I'd been joking about for years has some validity now.

I'm starting this blog so that I can document my upcoming experience in California. I'm going to head out when school gets done in early/mid-June, and come back first week in August. I'm exploring the acting landscape of Hollywood. Acting is something that I've really begun to enjoy in the last few years. I've always (since high school) enjoyed being on the stage. The theater crowd was always fun to hand around with at nights after rehearsals, or performances. I always make it my goal (then and now to this day) to make at least one lasting, significant relationship with each production that I do. I feel that I have done that on most occasions throughout the year, and with some shows, it was far more than one person.

In the last few years, the experience of acting has evolved beyond a recreational enjoyment, and it has morphed into more of a mental/emotional release and creative outlet. I've been fortunate over the recent years to be cast in prominent roles of a handful of plays/musicals that challenged my ability to embody a different character (voices, different mannerisms, etc.). Yes, that is the premise of acting overall, but up until now, I think most of my characters were mainly Bob in different costumes. I found a freedom in exploring these different persona for a few hours a day, and then I got to go home to the best family anyone could ask for...so a win/win for me.

 Arthur Miller's All My Sons (IPFW, Fall '11)

Aaron Sorkin's The Farnsworth Invention (FW Civic Theatre, Spring '12)

Aaron Sorkin's A Few Good Men (FW Civic Theatre, Fall '12)

The Drowsy Chaperone (FW Civic Theatre, Spring '13)

It was during my production of A Few Good Men in September 2012 that my wife said to me that she saw something in me recently acting-wise that she hadn't seen before, or hadn't seen in a long time, a drive.  Through several discussions and a lot of inner-reflection, I agreed with her that I find a certain joy in acting that I find intoxicating, and I have always been curious what that world would've/could've held for me. However, there are, and were, several large obstacles that kept me from jumping up and saying "yes, let's do it!" For starters, I'm mid-thirties now...not quite the young twenties any longer...though Luke Perry was twenty-five when he started 90210, and thirty-five when it went off the air. Fun fact.  Second, we're living on a public educator's salary. While we live comfortably, thanks in large part of my wife's great budgetary skills, we don't have a plethora of funds to go around. Let alone for Bob (yes, I like using third person from time to time for emphasis) to take a summer vacation 2,000 miles away. And most importantly, I'm a father of two young ones. Two kids that are active in baseball/softball, and I look forward to my summers like no one else because of the amount of time that I get to spend with them. One of the huge benefits of being a teacher is the amount of time that one can have with their kids.  Six weeks apart from them quickly appeared to be the largest hurdle to overcome of all.

So, with all of those obstacles/hurdles, my wife was still pushing me to consider the opportunity. She made a good point that if I didn't go and try, I would always wonder "what if." After a lot of soul searching, I agreed that this could be worthwhile. So, we started lining up what needs to happen to make this work, and the summer of 2013 was too close that I didn't want to take off then, so it was penciled-in that summer of 2014 would be it.

It is my goal that my experience doesn’t cost my family a dime. That might be a bit ambitious, but I’m going to work at getting this paid for without impacting the family bank account, or going into debt. So, I’ve been saving my allowance like a good boy.  I still have a long way to go, but I have enough to get me out there and back, and food money, but that’s about it. Lodging will be an issue, as of now, but we’ve still got some time until I leave. The money constraints are a stressful situation with making this work.

That’s where the grant comes in. The money of the grant would ensure that I have a little more comfort in my time out there, and it would provide some much needed emotional cushion. In being awarded the grant maybe in some way this experience was meant to happen.  I’m not counting on getting the grant, but what does it hurt to try? The worst that will happen is I get rejected, and the best that can happen will be a check for $10,000 to fund my experience.

The grant that I’m proposing for my renewal/growth opportunity with Lilly focuses on taking acting/improvisational workshop(s) with The Groundlings improv group in Los Angeles. In addition, I will have the opportunity to (hopefully) audition for TV/film while spending time out there touring production studios and taking in the entire entertainment world that has fascinated me since I was a kid. In general, it will allow me to do things that I wouldn't/couldn't afford to do, and it will exponentially improve my experience out there by making it more comfortable, affordable, and ultimately, more enjoyable.

Random Memory:
One of the best jobs I’ve ever had was working at a video store in college. We had just gotten married and moved to Beech Grove, IN (SE Indianapolis), and I still had one more year of schooling, and my wife was working in downtown Indy. When I wasn’t in school, I worked at the video store.  When I got hired, I told them in true Office Space-style that I wanted the job with the least amount of responsibility. So, I was a checkout person. I quickly got bored, so I started doing more around the store like “receiving” new product into the store, running inventories at night, making out the schedule, etc. Around four months in, the store manager left and they didn’t hire one until near the end of my time there. I was the acting store manager within a few months, it was crazy. Talking about movies and recommending obscure movies to people was heavenly. I remember “the regulars” that would come in a few times a week and we’d chat about the new releases and whether they liked them or not.  For example, there was a police officer (Phil) would come in and get all the new releases on DVDs each week. He didn’t care if they were any good or not, he just needed something for his car laptop while on duty. I never questioned him about “when” on duty he was doing this, but I’d like to think it was on a stakeout or something and he misses the bad guy walking by because he can’t wait to see how Coyote Ugly ended. Yes, he checked out Coyote Ugly. This large, mustachioed man rented Coyote Ugly. Maybe he thought Tyra Banks was a good actress?